Hardware Store Lyrics by Weird Al Yankovic
(from the album Poodle Hat)
[sound effects from tools]
Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this town
Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here
I thought that I would go right outta my mind
Until a friend told me the news
He said, "(Hey), you know that vacant lot
Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it
And on the spot they're gonna build a shop
Where we can go buy bolts and screws"
Since then I've been walking on air (air)
I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair
'Cause I'm so excited and I really don't care
I've been waiting since last June
For this day to finally arrive
I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive
'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside
Well, I hope they open soon
I can't wait no, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight
Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out
I pressed my nose right up against the glass
You know, I had to be first in line
Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom
Want a pair of pliers for every single room in my house
See those hacksaws? Very, very soon
One of them will be all mine
Guys with nametags walking down the aisles
Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles
Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles
All arranged alphabetically
And they're doing a promotional stunt
There's a great big purple sign out front
That says every 27th customer
Will get a ball peen hammer free
I can't wait no, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
(breathe)
Would you look at all that stuff ...
They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters
Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters
Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires
BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers
Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters
Paint removers, window louvers, masking tape and plastic gutters
Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables
Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles
Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication
Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation
Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors
Tire gauges, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors
Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers
Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers
Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers
Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers
I can't wait no, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
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Other Lyrics from Poodle Hat
A Complicated Song Lyrics- Angry White Boy Polka Lyrics
- Bob Lyrics
- Couch Potato Lyrics
- Ebay Lyrics
- Genius In France Lyrics
- Ode To A Superhero Lyrics
Party At The Leper Colony Lyrics- Trash Day Lyrics
- Wanna B Ur Lovr Lyrics
- Why Does This Always Happen To Me? Lyrics
Other Weird Al Yankovic Albums
- Straight Outta Lynwood Lyrics
- Running With Scissors Lyrics
- Bad Hair Day Lyrics
- The TV Album Lyrics
- Greatest Hits, Vol. 2 Lyrics
- The Food Album Lyrics
- Alapalooza Lyrics
- Off The Deep End Lyrics
Weird Al Yankovic News
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And they led me to my other real musical influence, 'Weird Al' Yankovic." His affinity for Yankovic came by default, he said, but it remains strong.
deseretnews.com 
La Cucaracha - Popmatters
Weird Al Yankovic is funny and tries to make that kind of music, but we’re not really like that… We just try to keep it simple and scummy in Ween.
popmatters.com- 2007 International Songwriting Competition Deadline Extended - Cybergrass
... Ray Davies (The Kinks); Hinder; Julian Casablancas (The Strokes); Kenny Wayne Shepherd; Ornette Coleman; Youssou N'Dour; Sean Paul; "Weird Al" Yankovic;
cybergrass.com - Carey Has Own Perfume - Youngstown Vindicator
Parodist "Weird Al" Yankovic is 48. Rock musician Robert Trujillo (Metallica) is 43. Rhythm-and-blues singer David Thomas (Take 6) is 41.
vindy.com - Weird As He Wants To Be - College Times
Weird Al Yankovic has been one of America ’s premiere satirists for more than 30 years. His parodies of popular songs by such artists as Michael Jackson,
ecollegetimes.com - Weird Al Yankovic Returns To Radio Roots To Dedicate Cal Poly's ... - Ksby
Architecture alum and music man Weird Al Yankovic returns to Cal Poly to dedicate the new KCPR studios. A disc jockey at the old studios,
ksby.com - Life And Times Of 'weird Al' - San Luis Obispo Tribune
No wonder VH1 had trouble finding skeletons in Weird Al’s closet for its 1999 “Behind the Music” special. “Every ‘Behind the Music’ had a certain point,
sanluisobispo.com - ‘weird Al’ Yankovic Returning To Cal Poly - Lompoc Record
On Tuesday, Oct. 9, with a 7 pm early curtain at the Cohan Center, Cal Poly Arts will present “Weird Al” Yankovic, backed by his longtime band.
lompocrecord.com - Review: Weird Al Straight Outta The Adler - Quad-cities Online
If you ever get the chance to see Weird Al, put aside any biases you may have and get a ticket. It'll be one of the most entertaining and amusing concerts
qconline.com 
"weird Al" Yankovic: King Of Nerds - Chartattack
"Weird Al" Yankovic: Now I'm king of the nerds. I've always been a nerd. I think that should be pretty obvious. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
chartattack.com
