Couch Potato Lyrics by Weird Al Yankovic
(from the album Poodle Hat)
Couch Potato Lyrics
Look
If you had
One shot
To sit on your lazy butt
And watch all the TV you ever wanted
Until your brain turned to mush
Would you go for it?
Or just let it slip?
Yo
Remote is ready
Eyes wide, palms are sweaty
There's Flintstones on the TV already
Wilma 'n' Betty
No virgin to channel surfin'
And I'm HD-ready
So I flip
Garbage is all I'm getting
There's Simon Cowell
Who folks wanna disembowel
He opens his mouth
Always says something foul
They're dyin', wow
Wannabes are crying now
He votes them out
Time to throw in the towel
Shows based on reality
Oh, the humanity!
Oh, Ozzy's family
Sho' loves profanity
Whoa, the insanity
Oh, dogs that crap and pee
Home of depravity?
No, they live happily
Yo
Plus "Da Ali G Show"
And "Celebrity Mole"
Oh, and there's Anna Nicole
Well, she's scaring me
"Look ma, no cavities"
Oh, it's a station break
Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something
"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV" They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Travel Channel, Discovery, and Lifetime (yo)
"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV"
They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off those music videos" (no)
I'm gonna watch C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime (yo)
(You're gonna)
My butt is aching
As I watch NASCAR racing
That show about undertaking
Larry King
To "24" to "Law And Order"
The Weather Channel's boring like "60 Minutes"'s ancient reporters
Next up on "E! True Hollywood Story"
The rise and decline of twelve actors named Corey
Shows for next fall, they've already been namin'
"CSI: Boise" and "Touched By An Uncle" both sound pretty lame 'n'
So does "Everybody Tolerates Raymond"
And "King of Queens" jumped the shark the first minute
I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it
I'll move right on to "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenaged Daughter"
Then I bet
I watch "The Bachelorette"
Followed by "Welcome Back, Kotter"
And "The Muppet Show" where they go 'Mahna Mahna'
"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Disney Channel and A&E and Lifetime (yo)
"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, cajoled me
But I still love Lisa Kudrow (drow)
I'm looking at C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Playboy Channel and Court TV and Lifetime (yo)
(You're Gonna)
Never missed "Melrose Place" or "Lost In Space"
I've seen each "Amazing Race" and "Without A Trace"
But I only watched "Will And Grace" one time one day
Wish I hadn't 'cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay
Oh, and "Fear Factor" I watched maybe a half hour
After that, felt like I needed a long shower
Network execs with naked ambitions
"Next week on FOX, watch lions eat Christians"
Like to tie up those programming planners
Make 'em watch all of that junk 'til their heads explode just like "Scanners"
Leech-covered grub-eatin' fools on "Survivor"
Look there's James Lipton discussing the oeuvre of Mr. Rob Schneider
And there's "Gilligan" and "SpongeBob", plus there's "MacGyver"
And Jay Leno has got Madonna, hey there's Luke Perry on a
Special all Pig-Latin episode of "Drew Carey"
Wanna turn on "E.T." 'cause I'm a gossip freak
And I gotta know who J. Lo is marryin' this week
A 30 second spot
Then we come back to "Are You Hot?"
I was planning on recording "The Sopranos"
I forgot
I love shows with or without a plot
I'll stare 'til my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot
Because I only have got
One brain to rot
I'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot
"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Sci-Fi Channel and AMC and Lifetime (yo)
"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off that Oprah Winfrey show" (no)
I got it on C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Learning Channel and MTV and Lifetime (yo)
(You're gonna)
You can watch anything you want to, man
Download Couch Potato Lyrics
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Other Lyrics from Poodle Hat
A Complicated Song Lyrics- Angry White Boy Polka Lyrics
- Bob Lyrics
- Ebay Lyrics
- Genius In France Lyrics
Hardware Store Lyrics- Ode To A Superhero Lyrics
- Party At The Leper Colony Lyrics
- Trash Day Lyrics
- Wanna B Ur Lovr Lyrics
- Why Does This Always Happen To Me? Lyrics
Other Weird Al Yankovic Albums
- Straight Outta Lynwood Lyrics
- Running With Scissors Lyrics
- Bad Hair Day Lyrics
- The TV Album Lyrics
- Greatest Hits, Vol. 2 Lyrics
- The Food Album Lyrics
- Alapalooza Lyrics
- Off The Deep End Lyrics
Weird Al Yankovic News
- Mom, 'weird Al' Influenced Band - Deseret News
And they led me to my other real musical influence, 'Weird Al' Yankovic." His affinity for Yankovic came by default, he said, but it remains strong.
deseretnews.com 
La Cucaracha - Popmatters
Weird Al Yankovic is funny and tries to make that kind of music, but we’re not really like that… We just try to keep it simple and scummy in Ween.
popmatters.com- 2007 International Songwriting Competition Deadline Extended - Cybergrass
... Ray Davies (The Kinks); Hinder; Julian Casablancas (The Strokes); Kenny Wayne Shepherd; Ornette Coleman; Youssou N'Dour; Sean Paul; "Weird Al" Yankovic;
cybergrass.com - Carey Has Own Perfume - Youngstown Vindicator
Parodist "Weird Al" Yankovic is 48. Rock musician Robert Trujillo (Metallica) is 43. Rhythm-and-blues singer David Thomas (Take 6) is 41.
vindy.com - Weird As He Wants To Be - College Times
Weird Al Yankovic has been one of America ’s premiere satirists for more than 30 years. His parodies of popular songs by such artists as Michael Jackson,
ecollegetimes.com - Weird Al Yankovic Returns To Radio Roots To Dedicate Cal Poly's ... - Ksby
Architecture alum and music man Weird Al Yankovic returns to Cal Poly to dedicate the new KCPR studios. A disc jockey at the old studios,
ksby.com - Life And Times Of 'weird Al' - San Luis Obispo Tribune
No wonder VH1 had trouble finding skeletons in Weird Al’s closet for its 1999 “Behind the Music” special. “Every ‘Behind the Music’ had a certain point,
sanluisobispo.com - ‘weird Al’ Yankovic Returning To Cal Poly - Lompoc Record
On Tuesday, Oct. 9, with a 7 pm early curtain at the Cohan Center, Cal Poly Arts will present “Weird Al” Yankovic, backed by his longtime band.
lompocrecord.com - Review: Weird Al Straight Outta The Adler - Quad-cities Online
If you ever get the chance to see Weird Al, put aside any biases you may have and get a ticket. It'll be one of the most entertaining and amusing concerts
qconline.com 
"weird Al" Yankovic: King Of Nerds - Chartattack
"Weird Al" Yankovic: Now I'm king of the nerds. I've always been a nerd. I think that should be pretty obvious. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
chartattack.com
