Headline News Lyrics by Weird Al Yankovic

(from the album Greatest Hits, Vol. 2)

Headline News Lyrics

Once, there was this kid who
Took a trip to Singapore and brought along his spray paint.
And when he finally came back,
He had cane marks all over his bottom.
He said that it was from when
The warden whacked it so hard.
Mmm mmm mmm mmm.  Mmm mmm mmm mmm.

Once there was this girl who
Swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion.
And when she finally made it,
She saw some other girl who was better.
And so she hired some guy to
Club her in the kneecap.
Mmm mmm mmm mmm.  Mmm mmm mmm mmm.
Mmm mmm mmm mmm.  Mmm mmm mmm mmm.

They got paid for their sound bytes,
And sold their TV movie rights.

And then, there was this guy who
Made his wife so mad one night that she cut off his weiner.
And when he finally came to,
He found little Mr. Happy was missing.
He couldn't quite explain it,
It'd always just been there.
Mmm mmm mmm mmm.  Mmm mmm mmm mmm.
Mmm mmm mmm mmm.  Mmm mmm mmm mmm.

Ahh ahh ahh ahh.  Ahh ahh ahh ahh.
Ahh ahh ahh ahh.  Ahh ahh ahh ahh.

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Other Lyrics from Greatest Hits, Vol. 2

1. Achy Breaky Song Lyrics
2. Jurassic Park Lyrics
3. This Is The Life Lyrics
4. Yoda Lyrics

Other Weird Al Yankovic Albums

• Straight Outta Lynwood Lyrics
• Running With Scissors Lyrics
• Poodle Hat Lyrics
• Bad Hair Day Lyrics
• The TV Album Lyrics
• The Food Album Lyrics
• Alapalooza Lyrics
• Off The Deep End Lyrics

Weird Al Yankovic News

• Mom, 'weird Al' Influenced Band - Deseret News
  And they led me to my other real musical influence, 'Weird Al' Yankovic." His affinity for Yankovic came by default, he said, but it remains strong.
  deseretnews.com
• La Cucaracha - Popmatters
  Weird Al Yankovic is funny and tries to make that kind of music, but we’re not really like that… We just try to keep it simple and scummy in Ween.
  popmatters.com
• 2007 International Songwriting Competition Deadline Extended - Cybergrass
  ... Ray Davies (The Kinks); Hinder; Julian Casablancas (The Strokes); Kenny Wayne Shepherd; Ornette Coleman; Youssou N'Dour; Sean Paul; "Weird Al" Yankovic;
  cybergrass.com
• Carey Has Own Perfume - Youngstown Vindicator
  Parodist "Weird Al" Yankovic is 48. Rock musician Robert Trujillo (Metallica) is 43. Rhythm-and-blues singer David Thomas (Take 6) is 41.
  vindy.com
• Weird As He Wants To Be - College Times
  Weird Al Yankovic has been one of America ’s premiere satirists for more than 30 years. His parodies of popular songs by such artists as Michael Jackson,
  ecollegetimes.com
• Weird Al Yankovic Returns To Radio Roots To Dedicate Cal Poly's ... - Ksby
  Architecture alum and music man Weird Al Yankovic returns to Cal Poly to dedicate the new KCPR studios. A disc jockey at the old studios,
  ksby.com
• Life And Times Of 'weird Al' - San Luis Obispo Tribune
  No wonder VH1 had trouble finding skeletons in Weird Al’s closet for its 1999 “Behind the Music” special. “Every ‘Behind the Music’ had a certain point,
  sanluisobispo.com
• ‘weird Al’ Yankovic Returning To Cal Poly - Lompoc Record
  On Tuesday, Oct. 9, with a 7 pm early curtain at the Cohan Center, Cal Poly Arts will present “Weird Al” Yankovic, backed by his longtime band.
  lompocrecord.com
• Review: Weird Al Straight Outta The Adler - Quad-cities Online
  If you ever get the chance to see Weird Al, put aside any biases you may have and get a ticket. It'll be one of the most entertaining and amusing concerts
  qconline.com
• "weird Al" Yankovic: King Of Nerds - Chartattack
  "Weird Al" Yankovic: Now I'm king of the nerds. I've always been a nerd. I think that should be pretty obvious. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
  chartattack.com