Amish Paradise Lyrics by Weird Al Yankovic
(from the album Bad Hair Day)
Amish Paradise Lyrics
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
I've churned butter once or twice
Living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at a discount price
Living in an Amish paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude?
You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree
I really look good in black... fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired
There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Caruso
It's as primitive as can be
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish Paradise
We're just plain and simple guys
Living in an Amish Paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Living in an Amish Paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice
Living in an Amish Paradise
Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise anutter
Think you're really righteous?
Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million time as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish Paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites
Living in an Amish Paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Living in an Amish Paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Living in an Amish Paradise
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch!
Download Amish Paradise Lyrics
Post a comment
Other Lyrics from Bad Hair Day
Alternative Polka Lyrics- Cavity Search Lyrics
- Everything You Know Is Wrong Lyrics
- Gump Lyrics
I Remember Larry Lyrics- I'm So Sick Of You Lyrics
- Phony Calls Lyrics
- Since You've Been Gone Lyrics
- Syndicated Inc. Lyrics
- The Night Santa Went Crazy Lyrics
Other Weird Al Yankovic Albums
- Straight Outta Lynwood Lyrics
- Running With Scissors Lyrics
- Poodle Hat Lyrics
- The TV Album Lyrics
- Greatest Hits, Vol. 2 Lyrics
- The Food Album Lyrics
- Alapalooza Lyrics
- Off The Deep End Lyrics
Weird Al Yankovic News
- Mom, 'weird Al' Influenced Band - Deseret News
And they led me to my other real musical influence, 'Weird Al' Yankovic." His affinity for Yankovic came by default, he said, but it remains strong.
deseretnews.com 
La Cucaracha - Popmatters
Weird Al Yankovic is funny and tries to make that kind of music, but we’re not really like that… We just try to keep it simple and scummy in Ween.
popmatters.com- 2007 International Songwriting Competition Deadline Extended - Cybergrass
... Ray Davies (The Kinks); Hinder; Julian Casablancas (The Strokes); Kenny Wayne Shepherd; Ornette Coleman; Youssou N'Dour; Sean Paul; "Weird Al" Yankovic;
cybergrass.com - Carey Has Own Perfume - Youngstown Vindicator
Parodist "Weird Al" Yankovic is 48. Rock musician Robert Trujillo (Metallica) is 43. Rhythm-and-blues singer David Thomas (Take 6) is 41.
vindy.com - Weird As He Wants To Be - College Times
Weird Al Yankovic has been one of America ’s premiere satirists for more than 30 years. His parodies of popular songs by such artists as Michael Jackson,
ecollegetimes.com - Weird Al Yankovic Returns To Radio Roots To Dedicate Cal Poly's ... - Ksby
Architecture alum and music man Weird Al Yankovic returns to Cal Poly to dedicate the new KCPR studios. A disc jockey at the old studios,
ksby.com - Life And Times Of 'weird Al' - San Luis Obispo Tribune
No wonder VH1 had trouble finding skeletons in Weird Al’s closet for its 1999 “Behind the Music” special. “Every ‘Behind the Music’ had a certain point,
sanluisobispo.com - ‘weird Al’ Yankovic Returning To Cal Poly - Lompoc Record
On Tuesday, Oct. 9, with a 7 pm early curtain at the Cohan Center, Cal Poly Arts will present “Weird Al” Yankovic, backed by his longtime band.
lompocrecord.com - Review: Weird Al Straight Outta The Adler - Quad-cities Online
If you ever get the chance to see Weird Al, put aside any biases you may have and get a ticket. It'll be one of the most entertaining and amusing concerts
qconline.com 
"weird Al" Yankovic: King Of Nerds - Chartattack
"Weird Al" Yankovic: Now I'm king of the nerds. I've always been a nerd. I think that should be pretty obvious. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
chartattack.com
